loralees-freshed-over-noodles

If You Can't Be On American Idol . . .

2008-03-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

. . . . then I guess singing on the PlayStation 2 Karaoke Revolution American Idol Encore game is the next best thing.

That's right. Me. Two songs. Black Velvet and Close My Eyes Forever. Yay for me.

Take that, Simon!

Best Compliment Ever

2008-03-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

"Mom, I don't think there's anybody that doesn't like you. The word for you is likable."

'Tis I . . . .

2007-07-25T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, LL and Sharon. 'Tis I that wrote that anonymous letter below (What Would You Do? July 11.) I had a few really upset parents, with the same reactions as you, which warranted me sending this letter out hours after the first:

"Dear Parents,

It seems I've offended a lot of you with my last letter (What Would You Do? July 11) and that was not my intention at all. I owe you apologies because my intentions were good, but, upon rereading it tonight, I realize my note came across as condescending, impersonal and it looks like it's a lecture on parenting which it most certainly isn't. Being the flawed person I am, I am sooooo not qualified to tell anybody how to parent. It's just that I'm at all of the boys' practices, the boys forget I'm there and I've seen and heard some mean stuff. My child is not excluded from any of this and I am not finger pointing. Again I do not ever judge anybody's parenting skills, only my own, and my letter was just intended to make all of us think (our family included) about team playing and being kind to one another. Again, I'm sorry that I've offended anybody. I promise you that my intentions were good and I see that the tone of my letter did not sound as kind and as thought provoking as I meant it to be. It's obvious I made an error in judgement.

Gee. Nice way for me to get to know you all. Again, my apologies,

Loralee"

I appreciate your comments, LL and Sharon, because it validated what others were feeling when they received the first letter. To explain my actions I have to say that my son is a "quirkster" and I was just soooooo sick of seeing all of the meaness being perpetrated upon him. He didn't see most of it, but I did. "Don't tell small child." "Don't let small child help." "Small child you're not doing it right." "You look like a girl and you're ugly." "You can't use the mini fan because you're not cool but everyone else can." Not ordinary goofy boy stuff, but mean hearted stuff. That's not to say that small child wasn't somewhat responsible for some of this himself (and, yes, we are working on that part!) for how some of the boys treated him but still, as LL says, "Mean people suck."

Heartbroken and on the verge of tears was I a lot of the time. The first letter was written in a heartfelt and caring way, but obviously it was not taken that way. Your responses really helped to validate that. It made me understand that if you know me, you'd know exactly the tone of the letter, BUT if you didn't you'd take it exactly the way you both did. Oh well, live and learn.

Shortly after that small child asked to be taken off of the team. We're trying to teach him not to be a quitter and to stick with what he started so we asked him why. "I'm not having fun and nobody likes me." Guess he saw and felt more then I suspected. We supported his decision. We'll try out again next year. It will be a relief not to see the unkind and mean spiritedness and to be away from some of the soccer parents. Yikes! Some of 'em are pretty scary.

A Birthday Ditty

2007-07-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

As sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday" . . . . .

"Happy Birthday to me
In less then a week
I'm s'posed to be grown-up
But I'm still a geek!"

What Would You Do?

2007-07-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

What would you do if you got an e-mail like this? It's somebody you don't know. How would you honestly react? Just wondering . . .

"Was your childhood painful or pleasurable? Were you left out or popular? Were you bullied or were you the bully? Did you make other kids laugh? Were you included or alienated? What role were you assigned when you were a child because these memories matter.

Some children are shy. Some children are gloriously outgoing. Some are quirky and some are charming. There are the leaders and there are the followers. There are the homecoming queens and the football heros and then there are the not so popular nerds and geeks. When it comes to socializing some children are like well oiled cogs in a smooth running machine and then there are those who are the square pegs that don’t fit into the round holes. In this big, wonderful world full of variety and differences this is to be expected. All children will not get along, all children will not like each other, and all children will not be "best friends."

It is our job as parents to validate these feelings, to let our children know how to properly embrace the differences of the world. However, it is our DUTY to explain to our children how to act upon these feelings. It is our job as parents to give our children the tools needed to know the difference between a feeling and an action, "It’s okay, little Stevie, if you don’t like little Bucky, but it’s not okay to hit him or call him weird because you don’t like him." It is our job as parents to teach our children how to come from a place of fairness and kindness, to teach our children how NOT to bully, ostracize, name call, or hit. It is our job as parents to teach our children the golden rule: "Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated."

We’ll keep trying our best to implement these rules of thumb in our home and it is my wish that you will too. Hopefully, by trial and error and some mistakes along the way, we will all raise fair, kind and honorable young men.

Thank you."

Come Together - A Tribute To the Beatles

2007-03-28T16:28:00.000-07:00

COME TOGETHER
A TRIBUTE TO
THE MUSIC OF THE BEATLES

featuring performances by:
APRIL & MONROE GRISMAN
DENISE & ERIC MARTIN
AMBER & TAL MORRIS
ALLYSON PAIGE
ERIC LEVY
URIAH DUFFY
ADAM BERKOWITZ
JAMES DEPRADO
GREG SCOTT
LORALEE CHRISTENSEN

at
Sweetwater
153 Throckmorton Avenue
Mill Valley CA
Friday, April 13
9:00 p.m.
$12.00

for ticket info: Ticket Web or call: 415-388-2820

No Worries

2007-03-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

This post is for Sharon. I can't have her worrying about me. Everything is all right.
Just overwhelmed. A lot on my plate. Too much to do and not enough time to do it.
I WILL post something soon.

I'm Easily Amused

2007-03-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

One of the most hilarious things, that will get me to laughing incredibly hard (we're talking doubled over, tears in my eyes laughter), is when my ten-year-old, comes out of left field, and does a spot on impression of me saying something completely senseless or inane. It's incredibly funny every time.

Of course, he dosen't get to do too many of those impressions because everything that comes out of my mouth is completely enlightening, wise, educational and prophetic. Say, if you believe that, perhaps I can show you this little piece of swamp land that I have for sale in the Florida everglades?

Hooray For Hollywood

2007-03-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, I had last night all to myself. Small child and his dad went to visit Nana and Granddad. So what should I have been doing last night? Last night I should have been studying for next week's exams. Last night I should have been working on my Sociology project. What did I, in fact, do last night? I rented movies. Yay! I NEVER, EVER get to rent movies.

I was thrilled with a few of my selections and thought I would pass on to you other movie go-ers my two-cents worth. I highly suggest . . . NO . . . I insist that you go out and rent "Little Miss Sunshine" and "Stranger Than Fiction." Both are incredibly well written, well cast, well acted and well directed movies. I, also, enjoyed the documentary "Shut Up And Sing" based on the Dixie Chicks and their ordeal.

"Little Miss Sunshine" is about the dysfunctional Hoover family making their way to California for an adolescent beauty pageant. This movie is funny, hilarious at times, poignant, and touching as well. You really like and care about the characters, flaws and all. It is rated "R," for Grampa's (Alan Arkin) problems and his, every now and then, colorful mouth, but if you can deal with that you are going to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this film.

"Stranger Than Fiction" is a wonderful film with a very original plot. The cast is great. The story is great and very clever. Will Ferrell does a fine job in his first major (not jumping around being freakily funny) movie role. Again, another movie that is funny as well as poignant.

"Shut Up And Sing" is a terrific documentary about the turmoil and problems that faced the Dixie Chicks after Natalie Maines made her infamous comment at a British concert. If you don't know what the comment is, this movie will enlighten you. If you love the Chicks, you'll end up loving them more. If you hate the Chicks, you'll still hate them after this movie.

Go. Rent. Watch. You will NOT waste your money or time. I promise.

Did You Bring Your Wallet??

2007-03-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

You're driving towards the toll booth. You've just had a session where you sang two songs for a really, really nice man. It's been a full day. You're singing along to the radio at full volume. You feel content. Then you see the sign, "Approaching Toll Booth. $4.00." Oh no. You purposely left $3.00 in your wallet for the toll. The OLD toll. The sign says it right there, "Toll $4.00 beginning January 1, 2007." Crap.

You pull off onto a dirt road. You turn the radio off. The content feeling has slowly mutated into a sort of panicky feeling. You're thinking about the time that you accidentally left your wallet on your desk and when you got to the Golden Gate bridge you told the toll booth collector your predicament. You remember him explaining to you how you'd get something in the mail and him waving you through. Then you remember the "something" you got in the mail. Yeah, it was a letter telling you how you were a toll evader, how they wanted you to pay the toll and a $30.00 fine. But you wrote a letter to the transit authority and they let you off with just paying the $5.00 toll. Hah. You beat that one. Whew.

You're not feeling like you can pull that off again. The odds just aren't in your favor. Okay, okay. You've got the $3.00 over there on the passenger seat. Coins, coins, see how many coins you have. Eighty-eight cents. You have eighty-eight cents. That's it. Well. It's just going to have to do. You're going to have to go for it. You pull up to the toll booth. You explain your problem. You tell the toll collector that you really, really, REALLY don't want to be a "toll evader" and that you really, really, really, really, REALLY don't want to be fined. You look at him. He looks at you. The tension mounts. He looks pretty serious. What's it gonna be?

"Awe, you're only short twelve cents. Go on ahead," and he waves you through. Life is good again. You turn the radio back on, you start singing at the top of your lungs again, and you're grateful for people like the toll booth collector and their small but generous acts of kindness.

You're Getting Sleepy, Sleepy, Sleepy

2007-03-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

I am always tired. Always. I'm tired when I wake up in the morning. I'm tired during the day. I'm tired after a nap. I'm tired during a nap. I'm tired during dinner. I'm tired when I crawl into bed at night.

I'm tired of being tired.

All's Well That Ends Well

2007-02-28T23:01:00.000-08:00

So. Band Leader and I had a few good converstions and we worked everything out. We covered a lot of ground. I understood some major things that I didn't before. He understood some things that he didn't before. We're straight on everything. I will be back out at the country club starting on Saturday. Whew!

Ten Years Ago

2007-02-26T01:14:00.000-08:00

Ten years ago today, I was about 5 hours and 10 minutes away from my water breaking. I was about 8 hours and 10 minutes from meeting the person that would change my life. Ten years ago today I was about to learn the meaning of true love. Oh sure. I always knew I had the capacity to love with all of my heart BUT the minute that he arrived I finally GOT IT! He has made me a better person. Ten years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful, energetic, smart, fun, funny, terrific, charming, thoughtful and loving baby boy. Happy birthday, my beautiful small child. God blessed me the day that you were born and I thank Him every night for the gift of you. May God bless you with a lifetime full of happy birthday celebrations. I hope that your tenth birthday is lovely and special just like you.

And I hope that you don't beat me and Dad at miniature golf today.

I love you,
Mama

Big Debut! Loralee C. & Loralee C. Sing Together For the First Time!

2007-02-20T02:42:00.000-08:00

Well....what are you doing here? You must get over to Loralee Choate"s blog:

http://www.loraleeslooneytunes.blogspot.com/

We finally have our duet posted and ready for you to hear.

Long story short: Last June I was googling my own name at two in the morning. Yeah. Sad but true. But had I not been up late googling I would have never found the lovely Loralee's Looney Tunes. I popped over there only to find the blog of this incredibly beautiful, accessable, honest, sexy, funny-as-hell woman from Utah. Not only that but she was a Loralee C. . . . that sings! We started e-mailing each other and then talking on the phone. Before you know it . . . Bam! We're friends. We really click! About six months ago we get this idea of singing a duet together. There was a bit of a hurdle though as Ms. Choate is classically trained and I'm a rock singer. We both decided that since we love the song "For Good," from the Broadway musical "Wicked," that we should sing that. We were both willing to "color outside of the lines" a little. You know, explore unfamiliar territory. I asked small child's dad if he would record it for us. Before you know it, he's handed over these AMAZING music tracks. I then recorded my vocal here in California. Then it was Fed Ex-ed to Utah for LL to do her vocal and then sent back to California. Finally, small child's Dad, Naren, mixed and mastered it. (He recorded all of the instruments, engineered, mixed and mastered it. He is so freaking talented.) The final result is beautiful. LL and I pulled it off. We sound fabulous alone and fabulous together. It was a true work of love and I can't wait to do the next song with her. I hope you enjoy hearing it as much as we enjoyed putting it all together for you.

Well, what are you waiting for? Get on over there and check it out!

Barry And Richard

2007-02-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

My good friend Barry . . . yes . . . over there to the left . . . you see him?? . . . He's the "mighty good songwriter" link over there. Anyway, my good friend Barry has this quote on his Myspace music page. I LOVE this quote. It puts everything into perspective:

"Here is a test to see if your mission in life is complete: If you're alive, it isn't."
(Richard Bach, "Illusions")

Thanks for sharing this with us, Barry. I have played this in my head many times this week. Not only are you an amazing person, insightful songwriter AND you have your own video now (That's right. He has his own video. His song is in a movie and they made a video. If you want to see it you can go to his current blog post and click on the link.) BUT you're pretty damn wise.

MRI's and CT Scans

2007-02-16T19:13:00.000-08:00

Small child's dad spent the day in ER. He gets headaches all the time. Today was the third day of a headache that just would not go away. So the doctors did an MRI on him and saw something. Scary. They then did a CT scan. Small child's dad had to wait for hours for the results. They were looking for tumors or an anuerysm. Well. Turns out he's just fine. Thank heavens. I asked him what they saw originally, to get them to do the CT scan, and he told me that he has a "stressed" artery (can't remember the medical terminology) and that whenever the doctors see that they do a scan. The stressed artery is nothing to worry about. Diagnosis: Migranes. They gave him a perscription. He should be okay by tomorrow.

I feel bad though because he asked me why I didn't hug him when he got home. I'm not a very touchy, feely or affectionate person. He is. I will, however, buy your groceries, pick up your medicines, run your errands, buy you dinner, buy you your favorite chocolate, buy a knick knack that I think you'd like . . . you get the gist. That's my way of showing that I care, but I guess I come off as sort of cold and clinical sometimes. It's weird cause my personality is SO the opposite. I'm approachable, accessable and easy to talk to. I just don't do the touchy-feely thing very well. Even my own Mom says I'm not a very affectionate person. See? My own mom knows. I do snuggle, kiss and hug small child but I guess that's about it. Anyway, I feel like I suck right now because my very best friend needed a hug and I didn't give it to him when he needed it. Sigh. I really suck.

In Negotiations

2007-02-16T19:06:00.000-08:00

Band leader called me. He said that he felt we weren't on the same page about everything.
He said that he still wants me to sing out at the club but we have some things to think about and some changes must be made. We are both going to "ruminate" on it and talk next week. I'm not sure about it all. Lots to ponder . . .

Goodbye Dear, Old, Companion

2007-02-15T17:13:00.001-08:00

Eighteen years ago I stepped out onto my porch. There to greet me was this lovely, fluffy, little, black, long-haired feline with a white stripe running right down the center of her nose. "You look like a skunk," I said to her. That day was the start of a wonderful friendship with my new cat Skunky.

When I met her I already had my buddies Stikes, Sharky, Murphy, Binkerbean, and Crisco. Shortly after Skunky joined the crew Binkerbean succumbed to Feline FIV. We then added Batly and Kitten to the mix. Yes. There were seven of these fluffly, little, whisker-laden creatures. Throughout the years I have said tearful and heart felt goodbyes to Stikes, Sharky, Murphy, Crisco, Kitten and Batly. But joining the crew, throughout the years, have been Winky, Businessman, Eena and Meatloaf. I know, I know. It's not apparent my sheer love of the feline beast, huh? Actually, I just love animals, but I've just sort of been adopted by cats as time has passed. Or you can just call me what my vet calls me . . . "a softie." (He always tells me that in his next life he wants to come back as one of my cats. That's a huge compliment from a veterinarian, huh?)

Last year I had to say good bye to Eena. My big, fluffy, mild-mannered, long-haired, orange tabby cat. You would think that because I've been through the whole process of taking each and every one of them to the vet, petting them tearfully as they get the injection, scratching behind their little ears while telling them, "I love you. You've been a good friend and companion. I'll miss you. Good bye, my dear, sweet little friend," that I would have developed some sort of thick skin, wouldn't you? But. No. I. Have. Not.

Every single one of them has touched my heart in a unique way. I've loved every single one of them and it's hard every damned time. Today was not easy. Today I had to say good bye to my dear, fluffy, old, little Skunky girl and I sobbed and have been sobbing like the biggest baby ever known to creation. She was feisty, adorable, affectionate. She was a talker and she loved to swat at the other cats when they got in her way. If you were petting her and you took your hand away she would reach out with her paw to grab your hand as if to say, "Hey. You're not done with this petting thing." She was a character and a half. We had some really tough times, like when she got so sick that I had to tube feed her for a month, but mostly we just had sweet, wonderful, snuggly times.

I feel blessed and honored that eighteen years ago she chose to adopt me. It's been a pleasure to live in her home. It's filled my heart to help her in tough times and to laugh at her crazy little kitty cat antics. She made my journey here on Earth a more enjoyable one. I'm going to miss my little Skunky girl.

My New Best Friend

2007-02-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

I have this regular gig that I do about 8 times a month. We've had the past two months "off" while they refurbish the place. No compensation. No nothing. Just, "Oh sorry. You won't have any work for two months." Okay.

Before we got this delightful news, a couple of the musician's there had been asking the band leader, for at least a couple of years now, to see if he could get us a raise. This is a prestigous Napa Valley Country Club, mind you, owned by a huge corporation that makes millions and millions of dollars. I've been there for ten years and have made the exact same money. No. No raise. Okay.

So on New Year's Eve weekend the bass player and myself devised this wonderful plan. Lets put out a tip jar and have some little fliers on the table promoting our tip jar. It couldn't hurt. You know. Drum up a little extra income for the broke musician folk. Well. I guess the "shit hit the fan" . . . so to speak.

I have been there for ten years, have covered the band leader's ass when he "forgot" to book a singer several times. I've shown up, for the most part, on time. I have a large group of regular customers who will actually leave the club if I am not singing. People come out to see me sing. They buy drinks. They bring their friends. I've been loyal and I've done a good job. In return, the band leader gives me whatever gigs I want. It's been an okay deal. And the bass player has done everything but walk on water to help out, he's good and he's such a pro. The band leader shows up about ten times a year and runs his little power trip on everyone and presumes to think that he's running the show while all the while we the band are running the show. Okay?

Today I was told by the band leader that he just couldn't continue his same working relationship with me. I asked him point blank, "Are you firing me?" He said, "I just can't continue having the same agreement with you that we've had in the past." So I said, "So basically you're firing me then." He then proceeded to tell me that, in all his twenty years of being the band's contractor, this was assuredly the WORST thing that has happened to him because we supposedly almost lost him his contract at the country club. Excuse me? Having someone put out a tip jar and fliers and debate it with you is the WORST thing that's happened? In twenty years? Your entire contractual life?

Worse than say, when that other singer took advantage of you on New Year's Eve that one year? You know, when you booked him a room and he emptied out the courtesy bar and ran up an exhorbitant tab that you had to pay out of your pocket? Or the same singer who would show up an hour and a half late for your gigs? You still hire him all the time. Or is it worse then the time that you, oh fearless band leader, got drunk and left the stage, while the band was still playing, to go and sleep it off in your car? I see you still coming to gigs.

And because what I did is SO awful it merits you taking a single mothers supplemental income away from her? You couldn't have just "warned" me? Or explained the country club "protocol?" You couldn't factor in that I've been nothing but professional for ten years? Does loyalty to your bandmates factor in anywhere? Well. Obviously not. The bass player and I are now both offically unvited to play any music out there. WTF? He did assure me, as we were wrapping up our phone conversation, that we were parting as friends. Oh yeah. Sure. The BEST.

Valentine's Day Surprise

2007-02-14T15:16:00.000-08:00

We don't usually do Valentines around these parts. We just don't.
But today small child's dad and small child came to my door holding a BIG bouquet of flowers each. Small child also had a box of oatmeal raisin cookies for me. It was such a surprise and such a wonderful treat. I gave them both a big hug and kiss and said, "Thank you," about a hundred times. Small child's dad then said, "You don't need to thank us. We just wanted you to feel loved." Happy valentine's day everybody.

Receipts, W-2's & 1099's . . . Oh My!

2007-02-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

Don't you love that feeling of accomplishment when you've sifted and sorted and organized all of your receipts?? You've itemized and you've tabulated and you've tallied and you've totalled and you've printed up your work sheet?? And you've gotten it all finished waaaaay earlier than last year! Don't you love heaving that sigh of relief after you've turned it all in to your tax guy last week and he in turn finishes your taxes ASAP and gives you the great news that you are due some money from the 'ol IRS? What a great feeling!

THEN . . . don't you love getting home today, checking the mail box and finding the 1099 from the loser (who was an asshole to work for in the first place) who didn't get it out on time to you? So then you have to call your tax guy and see what he can do about it, hoping that he hasn't e-filed you yet? And now you're hoping that it doesn't effect your return too much because you're really, really broke and you could use the refund? Don't you love that? I mean, really don't you? Sigh!

Tagged, I'm It

2007-02-10T16:30:00.000-08:00

Well, it seems my good pal over at Non Compos has tagged me. What comes around goes around, I guess. I'm supposed to tell you "five things that you don't know about me" so here goes:

1.) I cried when I did the early pregnancy test (when I was pregnant with small child.) I cried because I was scared. I cried because he was not part of my future plans. I cried because I was shocked. I called my mom and I cried some more.

2.) Being small child's mother is, single handedly, hands down, 100% the MOST rewarding and fulfilling experience of my lifetime. I'm a better person because I'm his mother and I'm a better person because of who he is. (If I'd have known this, when I took the early pregnancy test those many years ago, my tears would have been tears of joy and delight.)

3.) I have been told that I should be a stand up comedian by many, many people.

4.) I thought, when I was twelve years old and then again at nineteen, that when I died I was going to hell. Seriously.
I was convinced that I was a "bad" person and that I was going to hell. I used to believe in "the big man in the sky" concept of God. However, after having held my newborn innocent child and having seen my father take his last precious breath I can tell you assuredly that there is no hell. Fundamental religion was created to control people, to rule them. It was created to make sweet, innocent, twelve year old girls think that there is no hope and that they're going to hell. I firmly believe this. You can pray for my soul if you want to.

5.) I NEVER use the word hate. I don't. I think it's a nasty, horrible word BUT, I hate the man that's running this country. I hate Bush. Yep. HATE him. I'm not proud of it but I do. I hate him.

Well. There you are. I now tag anybody else that would like to tell us five things about themselves.......

Political #@!%@!&^$#@ Science

2007-02-07T01:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'll admit that I'm having a harder time getting into the swing of things at school this semester. I suppose some of the novelty of being a new student has worn off. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am still thrilled to be there and I do love the adundance of new information that I am receiving daily. All of the teachers I have had and currently do have are wonderful, dynamic, approachable, informative individuals. I've been fairly good about keeping up with my reading (until Mister Flu Bug paid me a visit and now I'm a chapter behind in each class, but no worries I can take care of that) and I've completed my assignments by their due dates. The thing that has me a bit worried this semester is that there is less essay/paper writing, more essays on the exams and less multiple choice.

I have found, in my whole one semester of college experience, that I fare better when I have to write a long paper or two and take a mulitiple choice exam. I have the memory of a turnip. No. Even a turnip has a better memory than me. I have no memory: "Car keys? Don't know. Glasses? I thought I just had them. Ma'am, is this your wallet? Oh, yes, yes, it is."

Okay. So I figure that I'm just going to have to really, really, really, REALLY, just freaking try to study and memorize as much as I can come exam time. I can handle this. No. Really, I can.
So I can't find the pen that I was just holding ten minutes ago. Big deal. I most certainly can make myself memorize important key words and points from my lecture notes and from my text. I mean, I was an actress when I went to college 23 years ago. Hell. I memorized whole scripts, blocking, entrances, exits, monologues, songs, cues. Okay. I CAN do this. I mean how hard can it be?

Then. BAM! I'm once again looking through my Poli Sci syllabus and notes. Yeah. "Midterm Identification Items." Uh-huh. You will need to know 7 of these terms for the Midterm. Okay.
Let's see, as I recall there were 26 terms to memorize. (i.e. Bill of Rights, Electoral College, etc.)
Sure. No problem. Even though Political Science just happens to be one of my more difficult subjects, I think that I can handle this. On the midterm we can't just use the glossary defintion, we must define the concept . . . for example:

"The elastic clause (sometimes called the necessary and proper clause) is found in Article 1, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution. It makes it possible for Congress to enact all "necessary and proper" laws to carry out its responsibilities. Chief Justice Marshall in McCulloch v. Maryland 1819, gave this clause broad effect when he allowed Congress to establish a national bank. This clause laid the foundation for the broad expansion of federal powers and is in conflict with the 10th Amendment that reserves power to the states."

Ahem. Wiping my brow. (Now, I know that a lot of you folks out there are history buffs and you're saying, "Get over it, Loralee. You should know this stuff.") OF COURSE, I should know it, but dammit it's scary and it's terrifying and it's hard. I take to it like a fish out of water, like AC to DC, like Axl Rose to Tommy Hilfiger but I'll be okay. There's only 26 of them and I'm sure that . . . . wait . . . . oh no . . . . for the love of God . . . . I just turned the paper over. There are SEVENTY of them. Yes. Seventy. And I will need to know SEVEN for the midterm. S-E-V-E-N-T-Y! Seventy terms to define, not glossary defintions, oh no, that would be too easy on a poor, turnip brain like me. No. We have to EXPLAIN. And we have to be prepared to explain seventy of them, but we will only be tested on seven.

Well. I suppose once I've gotten them all committed to memory I could pontentially be the life of every party. I suppose I'll always have something to talk about, "Hey, how about that New Deal?" "You know, I have some things to say about that Commerce clause." "Those damned embedded reporters." "And what are your thoughts on isolationism?" "Damned conservatives."
"Oh please, Keynesian economics is so passe'."

Well, I'd better start cracking the books. I'll be okay. I know I will. Just have to do a lot of studying. Now, where did I put my book? Has anyone seen my glasses?

103 Degrees

2007-02-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

Yes. That was my tempature all week end long. My fever finally broke last night. I haven't eaten in two days (which could really be a good thing) and I didn't go to school today. It takes a lot for me not to go to school. I don't know what in the hell I caught but my advice to all of you is this: DON'T CATCH IT! I'm going to try and resume my normal, every day activities tomorrow. Wish me luck.

A Simple Song

2007-01-24T12:27:00.000-08:00

Every morning I've been waking up with some sort of song going through my head. Last week it was some of the songs that I'd been rehearsing for a gig or some little tune from my past. This morning I woke up singing this song from the radio:

"Everybody knows I'm in over my head, over my head.
Everybody knows I'm in over my head, over my head."

All I can say is, "Uh-oh."

My dearest Blog . . .

2007-01-20T19:38:00.000-08:00

. . . Yes. I know that I've been neglecting you. I know that I've neglected you before, but I have to admit that this time it is a case of serious neglect. Sure, I've neglected you before for school, for homework, for my crazy schedule, for music or for lack of imagination. The charges of neglect are pretty serious this time. I'm . . . I'm . . . ahem . . . I've . . . yes . . . I've been seeing someone else. Yes. I've been spending waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time over at Myspace. I know, I know. I thought that it would be all right when I signed up. Truly. I did. "What's the harm in having a music page on Myspace?" I asked myself. "Every musician that I know has a page and it's a great networking tool." I reaffirmed. But NO ONE told me that I would enjoy it so much. I've visited hundreds of other amazing musicians. I've had hundreds of others visit me. Who knew that it would be so addicting? I'm sorry, my dear old Blog. Why you continue to stay by my side the way you do, I'll never know. Oh sure, I know that this is a phase. And Myspace will never mean to me what you do. You were the one who introduced me to the cyber world. You are the one that takes me seriously. You are the one that lets me talk and talk incessantly about mundane and useless topics with nary a complaint. You're much too good for me, my little blog. Please know that this phase shall pass. I will be back once this silly little obsession has run its course, once it's exhausted itself. There will never be another blog like you. Thanks for staying by my side and for all of your understanding. You are tride and true.
You are the only blog for me.
Much love,
Loralee

Dial Up = Stupid

2007-01-09T19:18:00.000-08:00

I hate dial up. Dial up is stupid. Where I live, dial up is our only option. This is stupid. It is stupid and just plain wrong. It's wrong. It is wrong and it is stupid.

Oh sure, Yahoo keeps e-mailing me and offering me DSL service for $5.00 more a month than I pay now. And, of course, I keep saying, "Yes. Yes I like your offer. Yes. Yes I would like DSL. Yes. I would like to pay $5.00 more a month to NOT have dial up. I can afford your plan. (Remember affordability is a huge factor.) Yes. Please give me DSL because dial up is stupid." Then they turn around and e-mail me back, "Oh. Gosh. We're so sorry. Golly and darn it all to heck, DSL is not available in your area."

They must stop taunting me like this. Dangle the carrot . . . take the carrot away . . . . dangle the carrot . . . take the carrot away. Quit sending me your offer of DSL if you can't deliver. It's torture, I tell you, pure torture because dial up is stupid and I WANT DSL! I can't do anything with dial up. God only knows how many HOURS it took me to upload my four songs on my Myspace page. And I don't even get to listen to all the incredible musicians on Myspace. Well, truth is, I can listen to the incredible musicians in 2 to 3 second staccato, stuttery, halting, increments. And downloading anything? Pictures, Youtube movies, music?
Don't make me laugh. Yes. I hate dial up. Dial up is stupid.

Welcome 2007

2007-01-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

Sheesh! 2007's first week has already passed. I can't believe how fast it all goes. Truly. It's a little bit frightening.

I'm hoping you all had a wonderful (insert your favorite holiday here.) I can't believe that it's already come and gone. Small child had a wonderful Christmas. He got a new bike from Santa. (His dad and I are trying to decide if he still really believes in Santa or if he's just "working it." We're leaning toward the latter.) I got some nice little gifts including small child's . . . the complete second season of The Flintstones . . . I LOVE The Flintstones. Small child gets kudos for his gift selecting this year . . . well . . . actually he gets kudos for every gift he gives me. Yep. Every one. I cherish them. Except for the cold that he gave me. THAT little gift I could've done without AND my voice was shot which had me worried about getting through the three gigs I had on the New Year's Eve weekend.

New Year's Eve ended up being fun. I played a gig, the crowd was great and some of my girl friends came out and drank champagne with me. My voice was tired but it worked just fine. After New Year's small child and I headed up to Oregon to visit my Mom. MAN, what a
looooooooooooooong drive. 9 hours. Looooooooooooooong drive, I tell ya. We had a nice time. Watched movies, played Yahtzee (I'm hooked), made cookies and we celebrated my Mom's birthday with her.

Got home from Oregon last night and . . . yes . . . it IS official. I have straight A's for the 2006 Fall Semester. I have a 4.0 grade average and Dean's honors right now. Who knew? I am thrilled and ecstatic. Now I've got to get revved up for Spring 2007. I'm registered for:

Anthropology
Sociology
Astronomy
Political Science
and
Creative Writing (this one will be for no credit and just for fun! Want to see if this will help my songwriting skills plus I love writing.)

Can we get a repeat performance of Loralee's Fall scholastic acheivements in the Spring? Stay tuned . . . .

I'm excited cause I'm getting ready to do a gig with Eric Martin (4-1-5, Mr. Big, The Eric Martin Band), his wife, and some of his friends on Sunday, January 21 @ 8:00 pm at the Sweetwater, 153 Throckmorton Blvd, Mill Valley, CA Come out and see the show. Last month's show was sold out and I'm pretty sure this one will be too. It's and evening of acoustic music and the talent that night will be extraordinary. I'm honored to be a part of it. If you want more info you can go to: www.loraleechristensen.com, www.myspace.com/loraleechristensen, or www.ericmartin.com , where he wrote this particularly kind blurb about me:

"Loralee Christensen has got pipes and has had the pipes consistently since I met her in the 80's. Not only is she an incredible soul belter but one of those women that you need to be friends with. She puts a lot of love in the room."

Nice, huh?

I'm pretty excited about my new space on My Space. . . again that's www.myspace.com/loraleechristensen or you can just go to my links and click there. It will take you directly to my profile. It's such a great networking tool. I've had people from Sweden and Denmark visit me! And it's nice because I've posted some of my own songs and folks get to hear what I do. If you're a "myspacer" come on over and become my friend!

Last but certainly, certainly NOT LEAST, the ever fabulous LL1 and I are closer than ever to finishing our duet. She just sent back her vocal tracks. Now it's up to small child's dad to do his magic. I can't wait to hear it. Just as soon as it's finished I will rush it off to LL1 and she will have a magical and wonderful post for you all. I am SOOOOO excited about this. Last year I didn't even know another Loralee C. existed then I met the most wonderful, sweet, charismatic Loralee C. from Utah AND she's a singer. This year I'm singing a duet with her. Life is funny, huh?

Well, now I must get back to my project for the week. Cleaning my house. Oh yes. It most certainly is a project. Probably THE biggest project I will have all year. (Getting A's in school was easy compared to this!) It's bad, I tell ya, bad. Social services bad. Hoarding bad. Clutter bad. Dirty dishes bad. "What in the eff did I save this for?" bad. Light a match and just get rid of it bad BUT, I am going to change that. Yes. I am. Quit your laughing, I am! I AM! Okay.
You'll see . . .

A Very Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year!

2006-12-24T12:44:00.000-08:00

Here's to lots of love, time with family, laughs and to no lumps of coal in your stocking!
Hope your holiday is merry and that the New Year is a happy and a healthy one for all of you......

Love,

Loralee

Breathe in.....and now.....Breathe out!

2006-12-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

Well. I did it. I took my last two finals today. I finished my first college semester. I feel so very proud and so very accomplished. It was hard. It was fascinating. It was challenging. It was enlightening. It was GREAT!

I do know, for a fact, that I got an *A* in Psychology and HISTORY!! (Can I tell you how amazing and wonderful that one is?) I am 99.9% sure that I will be getting an *A* in English and Child Development, AND my Child Development teacher told me that if I ever need a letter of recommendation she would be happy to write one for me. Can you believe it? Not bad for an old broad returning to school, huh? It's been a fulfilling experience and I'm looking forward to Spring Semester.

Thanks for letting me puff up with pride and boast! It just goes to show that you CAN get an *A* for effort!

Home Stre-e-e-e-e-tch!

2006-12-13T14:25:00.000-08:00

Hey, sorry that I haven't been around. Let's face it, being a full time student, a momma and a working musician is all consuming. I truly enjoy my blog but, obviously, it's not a priority. I won't give it up or disappear on you, but I won't make posts every day like most of you do. I do hope that, knowing this, all of you will keep popping in to see what's up with me every now and then.

Well, this is my last week of classes. I CANNOT believe how quickly the semester has unfolded and how much I enjoyed all of my classes. Right now, as it stands, I'm carrying *A's* in all of my classes (Child Development 68, History17.1, Psychology 1A and English 1A.) This is so exciting for me because when I registered it was my goal to get straight *A's.* However, I am not out of the woods yet. The proof remains in my Final scores. I will be taking my Finals on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week. I feel confident in all of my classes with the exception of History. There's soooooo much to remember, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that after a week end of studying I will be okay. Worst case scenario? A *B.* I'll take it, but it certainly would be nice to see my goal of straight *A's* come to fruition. I will keep you posted. I just know that all of you will be waiting by your computers with anticipation......= )

Lack O' Cash

2006-11-28T16:27:00.000-08:00

One of the best feelings in the world is not having any money. What's even better? Going to your gig on Friday night, going into the office to get your check and finding that it's not in the box. What's really great is being told that they have made a mistake and will have to mail it on Monday. What is truly, truly special is trying to alleviate that panicked, "what-in-the-eff" am I gonna do feeling. There's nothing quite like it. What really is the very best though? Trying to figure out how you're going to hold off paying your bills, being creative with what you've got in your kitchen, and how you're going to make it into meals, until your check finally does come. What can I say? I love it!

Pam & Kid

2006-11-27T17:46:00.000-08:00

OH MY HELL! Have you read it?? Have you?? I still can't believe it. It just hasn't sunk in.
It seems that Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are divorcing!!!!!!! I know, I know. Please sit down. Take a breath. Yes, I was shocked too.

WHY?? For the love of God, why? Why, why, why, why, WHY?

This is earth shattering. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to turn. What next??
I've lost faith in man and woman kind. I mean, with everything else going on in the world and now THIS? Dear, dear Lord. I'm completely devastated. Things will never be the same.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish out the semester. Dear God, please help me.

Shoot Your TV

2006-11-27T15:10:00.000-08:00

So. I asked small child, "What do you want for Christmas this year?"

His reply, "I don't know."

It's really rare to meet a nine-year-old that answers this question like this.

Then he says, "You know, Mom, I find as I get older, I just don't really want that much stuff."

That's when I fell over and they had to use the smelling salts.

I credit not having a television in either home and him not being barraged, at all hours of the day and night, by television commercials as being the cause of my son's lack of desire in acquiring material possessions.

The problem is is that it makes it hard to make a list for Santa and it makes it hard to make a list for his Dad and I to shop from, BUT it's a problem that I don't mind having. I'll deal.

Thankful

2006-11-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know why we have one day to celebrate all that we're thankful for but it seems that today is officially that day.

I am thankful every day for these:

-My son and I, and every one that we love, are healthy.

-We are loved.

-We have a roof over our heads and food on the table.

-I am able to laugh at life, and that keeps me sane, young at heart and forgiving.

Everything else, good or bad, is fluff. Everything else, good or bad, is what life has to offer and what we do with it, how we process it, and how we handle it, is up to each one of us individually. Everything else, no matter how over-whelmingly great or how devastatingly difficult, is do-able.

Since today is the official day of thanks, I want to wish all of you a happy one.

May you be grateful for your blessings, your lessons, and your challenges not only today, but every day of the year.

Loralee's Life Lately . . .

2006-11-16T12:25:00.000-08:00

"Hey Loralee, do you want to grab some dinner with me?"

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, let's go get a coffee."

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, let's go see a movie."

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, let's go shopping."

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, did you watch that DVD set yet?"

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, give me a call so we can catch up."

"No. I can't. I have homework."

"Hey Loralee, get a life!"

"No. I can't. I have homework."

### The End ###

GO VOTE! VOTE TODAY! GO VOTE!

2006-11-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

Borrowed from Sharon (Who Borrowed from Loralee)

2006-11-05T20:26:00.000-08:00

Have you:

01. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone . . . (yummilicious!)
08. Said "I love you" and meant it . . . (every day)
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped . . . (Toooooo scared . . . I fell 25 feet onto cement without a bungee)
11. Visited Paris . . . ( Sigh. I wish.)
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea - from the shore
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa . . .(what? There's no elevator?)
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper . . . (many, many, many, many, etc., etc., times.)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne. . . (and beer and tequila and wine . . .)
24. Given more than you can afford to charity . . . (I had to cut back because I was becoming a charity.)
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment . . .(Lots of times)
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk . . . (many times, myself included)
42. Had amazing friends . . . (can't do life without 'em)
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country . . .(Yay! Puerto Vallarta! Yay! Cancun! Yay! Cabo San Lucas!)
44. Watched wild whales . . . (in Hawaii, from our condo. Amazing!)
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach . . . (Ahhh, memories of Hawaii, memories of Mexico)
50. Gone sky diving . . . (Never have, never will)
51. Visited Ireland
52. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them . . . (NYC, Carnegie Deli . . . the tables are set up so that you have to.)
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs . . . (many times. Sad, huh?)
57. Pretended to be a superhero . . .(I'm a mom. I don't have to pretend. I AM a superhero.)
58. Sung karaoke . . .(and I've won contests. Shame on me. I knew I would.)
59. Lounged around in bed all day . . . (I do this way tooooo much.)
60. Played touch football . . .(No. But I"ve touched a football.)
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater . . .(yes. They were popular back in the dinosaur era when I was growing up. When I was in my twenties, sat in lawn chair with blanket over my lap and played "footsies" with a cute boy.)
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie . . . (well, my voice has.)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo . . . (2 when I was 41, 1 when I was 44. I have an official "tramp stamp" on my back.)
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage. . . (are you kidding?)
85. Been to Las Vegas . . . (many times and maybe planning to go again with some "unseemly" characters that I know . . .)
86. Recorded music . . . (many, many, many, many times and I plan to do it again with someone special very, very soon. Just you wait!)
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date . . . (Mmm-hmm. Even made out.)
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house . . . (My Aunt helped me buy a condo once.)
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents . . . (My Daddy)
93. Been on a cruise ship . . .(Yep. Went to Nassau, St. Thomas and Puerto Rico)
94. Spoken more than one language fluently well enough to have a decent conversation
95. Performed in Rocky Horror . . .(does singing along in the theatre count?)
96. Raised children . . . (still raising my spectacular son)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge . . . (No. And I live about 45 miles away from it. Very, very, bad!)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds . . .(lost 20 pounds when I was 30. Then I lost 45 pounds after having small child. Only adds up to 65 pounds.)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback . . . (I held someone while they were flashing their backside at me . . . does that count?)
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone . . .(shattered both of my heels. See #10 Bungee jumping)
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol . . .(didn't like it. Kicked back so hard into my shoulder that I cried.)
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery . . .(two of 'em)
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi . . . (can't get enough of it. Sushi and saki . . .mmmmmm!)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school . . .(Hell yes! Let's hear it for the mature student!)
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach . . .(If squishing it with your foot counts)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school and read . . .(Orwell, Salinger, Vonnegut)
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you . . . (My CD's at gigs)
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair . . .(several different colors, several different times.)
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident . . .(several but only when I was a younger driver.)
150. Saved someone's life

Pity Party

2006-11-04T15:20:00.000-08:00

Yeah. I'm having a pity party right now. It's about my singing career. I know, I know. I need to let it go. I need to move on. Leave the music to the younger people. Change careers. Give it up. Get tougher skin. Become jaded. And sometimes I almost . . . almost . . . almost . . . Ahhhh!
I can't help it. Every now and then I get bummed out. I know most of you have never heard me, but I'm good. Damned good. Letting go of my singing and my career is akin to telling my right arm that I don't need it and that I hate it now. Yep:

"Right arm? Yes. I have something to tell you. I hate you now. Even though I've had you attached to me all of my life and you're a part of me. Even though I'm accustomed to you. Even though I love you and who you are and what you do for me. Even though you help me out and I really need you. I have to get rid of you now cause I hate you. Go away. I have no use for you."

Plus that little flame of hope just does not want to die down. Maybe, just maybe? I keep trying to extinguish it and move on but still . . .

Did you know that . . . . .

I sang back ground vocals, with a bunch of my Bay Area singer friends, on 5 songs in the movie RENT and on the soundtrack CD?

I sang backgrounds on a Celine Dion release?

I've done demos for the writer who's written hits for Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey? (Just two of many people that he's written for.)

I've done demos for the writer who's co-written hits for Aretha Franklin? (Just one of many people that he's written for.)

I've done demos for the writer who wrote "It's Your Love" for Faith Hill and Tim McGraw and "Sin Wagon" for the Dixie Chicks? (Just one of many hits that she's written for many artists.)

sang back grounds in Clarence Clemmons's band? Yes. He's the "big man" that plays sax for Bruce Springstein.

I did a children's album with the back up singer for Santana? Yes. That is him singing harmonies on "Smooth" with Rob Thomas.

I've had people from MCA, Starstruck, EMI and Capitol/Nashville take interest in my singing and Tim McGraw's publishing partner told me that I was his favorite singer?

I've sung national television and radio commercials? I've even been heard in Canada. Actually, a women from Canada heard one of my TV commercials, found out how to contact me and wrote me a letter telling me that I should be famous and did I have a CD that she could buy. Same thing with a man from New York who actually wanted to hire me . . . sadly it was too much of a commute.

I've had many, many people come up and say, "Why aren't you on American Idol?" Ummm. . . cause I'm 46 and the age cap is 26. Can we say age-ism? I say 'ol Simon Cowell needs to start a "Senior Idol" show. I'm a shoo-in.

And let's not forget the comments and the mail, some from friends, but MOST from people that I don't really know but were inspired enough to contact me:

"an unbelieveable voice . . . the best singer I know . . . why aren't you famous? . . . why don't you have a record deal? . . .what a voice . . .you've got soul . . . you're my favorite singer . . . your voice is amazing . . . you are awesome . . . I love your voice . . . you can sing anything . . . what an incredible voice . . .you are most talented indeed . . . you sing like an angel . . . what a gift . . . you have command of so many different styles and timbres . . . you are very inspiring to those who hear you sing and a joy for those who get to work with you . . . I love your voice . . . I expect tohear you on the radio anytime . . . why aren't you on the radio? . . . I'm an instant fan . . . Loralee ROCKS . . . thanks for the wonderful gift of your beautiful voice . . . someone who sings the song and makes you believe it . . . damn, I love Loralee's voice . . .your voice is sexy as shit."

Ahhhhh . . . the list goes on and on.

What is truly sad is this is not just my story. All of my musician friends here in the Bay Area have the same story. They've played with amazing people and done amazing things and yet a lot of them are hardly working or like me are taking gigs like tonight. I made minimum money for maximum work. Now I'm not complaining about the work . . . okay . . . I am complaining just a little . . . but I really need the money and I like the people I work with at this particular gig but . . . come on . . . really . . . how many times can I sing "I Will Survive" or "We Are Family" for drunk people that are kicking the ficas trees, falling down on the dance floor, grabbing our gear or throwing up on the bar?? How many times can I sing "Boogie Oogie Oogie" and make people believe that they should "Get on up, on the floor, cause they're gonna boogie oogie oogie til they just can't boogie no more?" How much longer can I make them believe that I "Waited til I saw the sun, don't know why I didn't come?" and that I, "Left them by the house of fun, don't know why I didn't come, I don't know why I didn't come?" (I know Alex will have something to say about this song . . . . .)

It's all so frustrating. There's so much talent out there and NO ONE will ever hear it. I'm talking AMAZING talent . . . just here in the Bay Area alone . . . and no one will ever hear it. Sigh.

And the ultimate slap in the face?? The creme de la creme of frustrations?? You will never hear me or my friends Melisa and Annie on the radio. You'll never see us on a video and most likely we'll never be downloaded into your i-pod. But rest assured you can hear and see Shakira or that effin Taylor guy, who won Americon Idol last year, every 5 minutes . . . 24/7 . . . every day of the week.

Have faith . . .

2006-11-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

. . . in yourself, Loralee!

Last week I was suffering from such mid-term burnout that I actually considered not going to school every day . . .

Monday: "I'll just call in sick."
Tuesday: "God! I'm tired, I'll just call in sick"
Wednesday: "Man, I'm fried. I'll just call in sick."
Thursday: "What's one class?? So I miss just one class. I'll just call in sick."

BUT . . . I did indeed make myself go . . . yes I did . . . every effin' day. You see, it is so very typical of me to quit in the middle of something. When I got my first car loan, years and years ago, the salesman looked at my application, "Hmmmmm," he said, "One year at college, one year at this job, one year at that job, one year at this other job. Oh, look at this. You've been THREE years at your current job. Aren't you a little over due?" Yeah . . . yessiree . . . I certainly was TWENTY shades of red. I'm good at beginnings. I'm good at endings. Middles?? Not so good. I vowed to myself that throwing in the towel, on this college thing was, is, and will not be an option. So, that is why I made myself go to school every effing day last week.

I asked one of my teachers if there was such a thing as "mid term burnout" and she said that what I was experiencing was very, very common. I, personally, think that it was because the weeks before my exams, I was so nervous and so "jacked up," that my body experienced a serious let down from not being "jacked up" anymore. I'm not feeling it quite so much now. I am, however, overwhelmed because I have 3 papers due in 2 weeks. Along with that I still have to do all of the reading and the homework. Sigh, sigh, sigh . . .

What has seriously motivated me this week is this . . . (I'm going to brag now) . . . my English teacher told me that if I continue to turn in the kind of work that I've been turning in that I am heading for an "A" in his class. And remember that mid-term for history?? The one where my left eye would not stop twitching? The one where I was so freaked out?? I got an "A." Yeah. An "A." I got one wrong on the multiple choice and she wrote on my essay that it was excellent. She wrote that I was one of two people, in the class, who had the highest score on the exam. WTF? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?? I was completely in shock. I swear I thought that I was going to nab a "B." I truly was shocked . . . albeit pleasantly shocked.

I have always had issues around "not feeling smart enough." I have always felt like I couldn't keep up with people intellectually. I do not know how I got that self image. I do not know why I perpetually held on to that self image. I do know that it has ruled my life for almost 20 years. I do know that these tangible signs of my "not being stupid" have me thinking that I need to re-evalute my sense of what I'm capable of. Maybe I should just have a little more faith in my capabilities??? Sounds good to me. I think that I'm capable of thinking this over and I think that I am smart enough to let go of that old image. How wonderful that I'm not only learning new and fascinating things in school, but new and fascinating things about myself.

Alex's Angels

2006-10-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

This is a MUST SEE!

Click here: http://www.loraleeslooneytunes.blogspot.com/

Can't We All Just Get Along?

2006-10-23T03:39:00.000-07:00

What in the hell is going on in Bloggerland? This is supposed to be fun, DAMMIT!

For Alex....

2006-10-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

......a unique ray of light, love, babies, puppies, kittens, hope, inner beauty, peace.....blah, blah, blah.....

Did you vomit?? = )

Happy Birthday, Dad

2006-10-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Dad.....It's October 20th and you would have been 69 today. I think about you all the time. I miss your corny jokes. I miss you......

Useless Blather.....

2006-10-19T01:56:00.000-07:00

I had 2 1/2 glasses of wine at my gig tonight so here is some useless blather.......

1) My friend is the "Home Depot" announcer and I heard him 4 times on the radio while driving home tonight.

2) I'm not young, I'm really not that hot, nor a babe....SO....why does the guy in the silver Corvette drive around again, while I'm loading my gear in the car, after my gig is through? My guitar player has already chased him off once and he still drives around to say stuff to me? Does he think that I'm desperate? What the hell? Oh yeah, sure buddy, you drove around the block twice, Wow! I'm impressed.... so I guess I'll just jump in the car with you! Really, does he think that I'm gonna just go over and start chatting with him, in the middle of the night, on an empty, dark street? It's 12:30 a.m., for the love of God! I just don't get it!

3) Tom Petty sings about "Reseda," where I grew up as a kid, in the song "Free Falling." I heard that on the drive home too.

Useless blather. Be very glad that I don't have more wine induced posts......

Pay Up!

2006-10-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

It's always great when you do a singing demo, you work with singers who are not only great singers, but are your really good friends and you make decent money for the day. You're doing what you love. You're getting paid for it. Yay! What's not to love about that? This is usually how it works out for me when I do get hired for a demo......

It's not great, however, when you do a demo for an asswipe 6 WEEKS AGO, who tells you 6 WEEKS AGO that he'll pay you very soon (Ha ha!), who owes you $300 and you go to the mail box today (6 WEEKS LATER) and there's only a check for $200. It's, also, not great when you have to call him and tell him that you have a problem with the amount and he says, "Oh, there was a mistake, Love (gag!), I'll have my office send you the other $100 right away, Hon, (barf!)."

I'll let you know in 6 weeks if I get it or not! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

NEW EDIT: I got my $100 dollars in the mail today! (Friday, October 20th)

The Battle

2006-10-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

I'm having a battle with depression right now. It's been going on for the last week. It's so tiring.
I feel like I want to cry all the time. And I have to talk myself out of it. I can't go back to bed. I have to live my life and perform all of my duties and function as well as I can but it's just hard. Anyway, blah, blah, blah....poor me....wah, wah! This too shall pass but it's just hard when I'm in one of my cycles. Thanks for listening.

Don't You Hate It When.....

2006-10-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

.....you are driving home from a gig at 1:30 or 1:45 in the morning?? (.....as I know many of you do most nights...Hee!) You've had a good gig. Yes! You've had a couple of glasses of red wine. You love the place that you're singing in. You love your guitar player. You love the songs you're singing. Yeah, it's a love thing. Anyway, I'm off the subject. So. You're driving home thinking about things. You're thinking...."Wow. Tomorrow I have a midterm in English....bah! I'll be okay." You're thinking... "Wow. Tomorrow I'm going to be tired from not having much sleep...bah! I'll be okay." You're thinking...."Wow. I'm hungry. It's been a long time since I've had dinner. Oh, cool. I'll have that Oroville Reddenbacher Cheese Popcorn that I bought at the market on Monday.....yum!" You drive for 45 minutes....Oroville is calling your name. You pull into the driveway. You're thinking...."Wow. I can almost taste that popcorn." Then you get inside, open the box and it's popcorn that you have to pop and then SPRINKLE the "effing" "fake" cheddar cheese on top of. You're thinking...."Wow. This is not okay. This is "effed" up!" But you eat it anyway......???

History Mid-term

2006-10-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

Yep. Next Wednesday is our first history mid-term and....well.....I AM FREAKED OUT! I AM FREAKED OUT! (hyperventilates while eye twitches) I AM FREAKED OUT! FREAKED! (hyperventilates) YES, FREAKED OUT!

I don't know if I made myself clear at the beginning of this post, but I'm a bit stressed about the history midterm. I cannot explain to the teacher how my 9-year-old child sucks every last healthy brain cell out of my head. I cannot explain to her that I can barely find my keys or my glasses let alone remember why the Stamp Act was put into use. I cannot explain to her that everyone else just got out of high school and remembers all of this and that I haven't been to high school for "mumble, mumble" years!

50% of the grade will be on the multiple choice questions which I will probably do all right on. The other 50% will be on one of three essay questions (we won't know which one until the day of the exam.) I'm just going to have to do LOTS and LOTS of studying over the next few days........

I'll be happy if I walk away with a C. I'll let you know how it turns out......(she said shakily while trying not to hyperventilate once again.)

The Friggin' Swede . . . . .

2006-10-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

. . . . . (even though she's actually a Dane) apologizes for tagging her blogger friends! GEEZ! To quote a blogging friend of mine: "Grumpy old bloggers!!!!!!"

Tagged!!

2006-10-08T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'm SO excited. I've NEVER been tagged and Loralee just honored me with my very first tag!
Yee haw!! (Yee haw????) Okay.....here goes......

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? No
Are you gay? No, I like the other team's equipment, but I have had my little lesbian fantasies
Do you have hairy legs? Usually. I hate shaving and I ALWAYS cut my legs.
Do you smoke anything? No. My dad died of lung cancer and I think smoking is evil.
Do you like monkeys? My son is a monkey and I love him more than life itself.
How many fillings do you have? 5 or 6. Of course, one of them has fallen out and I have a great, big, gaping hole in my molar.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ocean! I'm terrified of the ocean but I love it too. It's a love/hate thing.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? No, and as Ms. Choate asked WHY??
Have you ever read the Bible? Not much. I tried at one point, to read some every night, but there were too many names and too many people "begatting" people. I couldn't keep up.
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Yes. Once had a minister tell my friend and I, who were giggling in the back, that...."the last girl who did that (giggle) in my class got in a car wreck." Yeah. That's the way to keep 'em coming back to Sunday School.
Do you wear a lot of black? LOTS of black. My favorite color to wear. PLUS it's slimming.
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? No....unless you count my rapier sharp wit.
Have you ever hugged a tree? I think I did once.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? Yeah.
Describe your hair? It used to be luscious, thick, curly and beautiful. My hairdresser once called me a "walking billboard" for her. Now it's dry, frizzy and gray. It's still thick though!
Are you a wildbeast? Used to be. Now I'm a domestic pet.
Do you like to have fun? Um.....does the sun rise every morning??
Do you like drama? No. I've had my quota.
Have you ever taken a bong hit? No
Do you like mayonnaise? Yes.
Are you afraid to die? No. After watching my father die I'm alright with it. I'd have to say that what does freak me out a bit is the thought of something so familar (i.e. your body, lungs, kidneys, etc.) shutting down and any kind pain that will be involved.
Do you like playing in leaves? I did when I was a kid. Haven't done it in awhile though.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? Yes
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? Yes.
Are you an adult? Sometimes.
Ever won a spelling bee? No.
Do you ever eat because you are depressed? HELL, YES! And by the size of me it appears that I'm depressed a lot!
Are you a television addict? No
Do you think OJ was guilty? HELL YES.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? Yes. As much as we drive each other nuts we do laugh a lot and have great conversations.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? No, but I gave a BJ to someone in one once.
On a swing? No.
Do you like Elvis? Could take him or leave him.
Do you enjoy watching animals do it on the Discovery channel? Not really, no.
Ever been hit on at a zoo? No.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? Yes.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? When I'm stressed I always conjure up the vision of several turkeys.
Does your mom think someone is hot? Yeah. Johnny Depp.
Are you a sugar freak? Yes.
Ever been arrested? No
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Depends on what you're calling a "crime."
Do you like orange juice? Yeah. Mixed with cranberry juice and ice....mmmmmm!
What sign are you? Cancer
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? I don't even know what the "party boy" dance is and I am the elderly.
Where do you wish you were right now? At Disneyland with small child and small child's dad.
Did you enjoy this? Yeah. I think crap like this is fun and it's even more special cause LL tagged me!

Tagging: Erin, Sharon, Barry, & Alex.....(who now hates me for life and thinks I suck. But I CAN'T WAIT to see his answers.....)

Charlie Brown & Darth Vader

2006-10-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

Yes. It's true. Darth Vader is watching the "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" DVD in my bedroom right now.

The Spirited Child

2006-10-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

I just had lunch with another soccer mom. She is the mom of one of small child's team mates.
She is real, cool and a pleasure to talk to and we're just getting to know each other. She is, also, the manager of our kid's soccer team. We were discussing the "tyrant" that coached the soccer team at last Saturday's game. Our kid's regular coach couldn't be there, so he asked one of the boys father's to fill in. I would have been fine had the invited father actually done the coaching but one of the other father's "volunteered" to help. The invited father never got a word in edgewise.

"Volunteer/tyrant" father TOOK OVER. "Volunteer/tyrant" father was yelling at the boys left and right. Of course, small child's father and I were on the other side of the field, so we didn't really know what was going on, until toward the end of the game when "volunteer/tyrant" father yelled a very loud and angry "DAMN!" because the boys weren't playing the way he thought they should be playing. "Volunteer/tyrant's" own son was hurt during the game. He was holding his knee and crying (This boy hardly ever cries, mind you) and I heard "volunteer/tyrant" father say, these actual words, "Is there any blood? No? He's alright then put him back in the game." His son was, also, crying after losing the game. "Soccer mom/team manager" said to him, "It's okay. We lost. It's okay. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" And "volunteer/tyrant" father said, "He should be crying. The team lost, it's not okay! There's nothing wrong, he just should've worked harder." Okaaay!!?? These boys are 8 and 9. EIGHT & NINE! Do we have to subject them so early to the "he-man" mentality? Do they all have to aspire to being the Marlboro man or the Terminator?? Can they not just cry if they're hurt or disappointed? Can we not acknowledge this and still make them fine soccer players?

Anyway, I digress......supposedly, according to "soccer mom/team manager," she over-heard "volunteer/tyrant" father trying to give small child a stern lecture. Small child has challenges with focus and listening. He has had these challenges since he was tiny and he is actually making headway in this department. It's not easy and I acknowledge that it's frustrating sometimes, but we don't yell at him for it. "Volunteer/tyrant" father was frustrated with this and was aggressively trying to address this with small child. (Yeah, like he's going to "magically" transform small child.) I asked "soccer mom/team manager"if small child was scared of "volunteer/tyrant" father, and she said that he was not at all afraid of him and his yelling. According to her, small child kept asking questions of "volunteer/tyrant" father and was very respectful. For example:

"Volunteer/tyrant": "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!"

"Small Child": "Blah, blah, blah blah???"

(Repeat above a few times)

Finally, this conversation ensued:

"Volunteer/tyrant": "I'll bet you don't speak to your parents at home like you're doing now."

"Small Child": "Yes. I do. (Of course if he's fresh he get consequences, but he's allowed to ask questions.)

"Volunteer/tyrant": Well, I'll bet you don't speak to the teachers in school like this."

"Small Child": "I'm home schooled."

"Volunteer/tyrant": SILENCE

He sent small child out onto the field and was overheard saying, "He doesn't go to parochial school. The parochial school kids listen." Yeah. That's it. Let's box them all up and pretend that they're not individuals. Let's pretend that they all are supposed to think alike, act alike, learn alike, be alike....like little robotic Stepford children. Let's pretend that not one of them has special individual talents or challenges. Let's pretend that they should all believe every single thing an adult says without ever being allowed to ask questions. I'm sure that "volunteer/tyrant" father doesn't appreciate small child's father's and my parenting skills, just as I don't appreciate his. His child is a wonderfully, sweet child who is an exceptionally talented little soccer player. This child is also an over acheiver and I can see how he wants to please and meet his father's expectations. It hurts my heart.

One of the lessons that small child's dad and I have always wanted to teach our child was to RESPECTFULLY question authority. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to hear this story today. That my spirited young child held his own RESPECTFULLY. That he questioned, RESPECTFULLY, the authority of a big, over grown, Napoleon complex, tyrannical, adult-bully. He was not afraid or intimidated by the "volunteer/tyrant". He was not taking "volunteer/tyrant's" word as gospel and was spirited and independent enough to ask questions. My heart is full and I'm very proud of my son today.

Please note: "volunteer/tyrant" WILL NOT coach small child again.

Freaking "Hell"-o-ween

2006-10-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

I really love Halloween. It takes me back to childhood: Trick-or-Treating, carving pumpkins, haunted houses, candy, more candy, (did I mention candy?), costumes. Costumes. Yeah.

See, when I was a kid my Gramma made our costumes. Really great, beautiful, attention to detail costumes. I was a harem-girl one year and a princess another. My mom would put a little make-up on me: eye shadow, mascara, lipstick. Man. I was glamorous and all for a considerable low price. Today small child and I went to "Halloween Headquarters." They're chain stores (at least, around here, in the Bay Area they are.) $49.53 for him to be Darth Vader this year. Yeah. You heard me. $49.53. And, honestly, small child really does not ask for a lot of "stuff" so I'm certainly not going to stifle his dreams of being "the evil villan of all time" for Halloween.

Here's what we got for $32.31:

1 cheap ass jumpsuit with faux "Darth" controls painted on the chest area
1 cheap ass "Darth" belt that ties in the back
1 cheap ass cape
1 cheap ass, cheap ass, cheap ass little plastic "Darth" mask

And because the Darth Vader costume package came sans gloves and boots I spent $17.22
for black kid gloves and fake boot covers.

Thank God that Gramma bought small child a talking Darth Vader helmet for his birthday last year. That would've probably brought the costume total up to $70.00! S-I-G-H! (Did I mention that I have a hole in one of my molars but I can't fix it?? But what am I supposed to do?? "Oh, sorry honey, there will be no Halloween for you this year because Mama needs that $49.53 to fix her tooth."??? Nah. Besides I'm working on "teeth fixing" alternatives......)

All complaining aside, I do like watching small child get so excited about and so into the holiday.
It is a night of magic and monsters and ghosts. It is a night of blood and demons and scary stuff. It is a night where your dreams of being anything that you want to be come true. And it is the one night where you send your child off to talk to and ask strangers for candy after a full year of telling them to not talk to or accept anything from strangers. (I don't know where I heard that but I think it's hilarious. I think it was some famous comedian.)

It's also wonderful to know that I'm making small child wear his Darth Vader costume every single day until next Halloween.

The Ultimate "From One Mom to Another" Compliment

2006-10-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

So. Small child and I are in Ross. You know, "I got it at Ross!" Anyway, I digress....
We are standing in the check out line and this lady behind us goes, "Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you how loving and patient you are with your son. It makes me feel like I should be more patient with my kids. I want to go home and hug them right now." I was flabbergasted and honored. THANK YOU anonymous Mom in Ross!

Brokeback Posters

2006-09-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Alright. There's been a plague of "Brokeback" posters going around, on various sites, from Loralee's to Alex's. Now I'm honored because I'm in one! Go check all of them out at Dave's site:

http://davidicdesign.com/blog/?cat=3

This guy is seriously talented. His blogsite is listed in my links......

Dream A Little Dream

2006-09-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

This morning the "Dreamweaver" visited me. No. Not Sharon's "Dreamweaver." Sharon's "Dreamweaver" might've been easier to explain! I can't explain this one! In my dream this morning, Loralee Choate and I were in my high school home town. It was full of ocean water (my high school home town is in the Sierra Foothills.) We had a raft, suitable for one person, that we shared as we were trying to get out of town by using the main street, and I kept slipping off of it. My dad, who died 2 1/2 years ago, was there somehow. I believe that he pointed us in the direction that we were supposed to go. The water got shallower as we headed East. We finally saw some land at an automotive shop on our right hand side. I went inside and talked to this burly, grumpy tough guy. He gave me my Dad's wallet and spare change, that my Dad had left in one of the cars in his shop. I went back outside where Loralee was waiting for me in the car that she had STOLEN. It was an old Fairlane (or something similar) from the 60's (quite nice actually.) Loralee said that she stole that particular car because nobody would notice it as opposed to a new car which would stand out (whatever!). I remember thinking that "all new cars kind of look the same, this one looks different. We're gonna get caught." We continued East. Loralee was driving like a "bat out of hell" around all of the curves and corners through the hills and mountains. She was very sure of her driving capabilities. I was scared. We abandoned the car and ended up in a house where I asked Loralee, "Where are all the clothes that we packed?" She told me that she had left them in the stolen car. I was worried because I'd had a high school picture taken in one of the tops. They would find the car, then the top and then me. Last thing I remember is Loralee was in bed. Okay, that's all I can remember.

All I can say is, "WHAT THE HELL?"

I'm Tired.

2006-09-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

Yep. I am.

This past week....

2006-09-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

Feeling over whelmed about school. Wondering what I've gotten myself into.
I should've taken 9 units not 12! 9 units would've been good. My left eye is twitching.

Did a studio session for an asshole. Still waiting for said asshole to pay me.
Already drafted letter and will send letter to asshole, telling him that I will NEVER work for him again, just as soon as I receive and cash his check.

Find out how incredibly loyal a good friend is.

Got irritated with Mom and over reacted.

Start a studio session, working on a song, with small child's dad. Fun!

Start to feel a little less over whelmed about school. Eye not twitching so much.

Have loooooong conversation with incredibly loyal good friend. Tell her how much I appreciate her.

Got an A- on my first English essay with teacher's comment: "Very good work, Loralee, with excellent use of detail, examples and information. And engagingly and efficiently presented."

Called Mom and apologized for being such a grump.

Did a session for a nice guy.

Finished session and song with small child's dad. We did some good work. Can't wait to hear the finished demo!

Got a gig.

Was called a "talented vixen."

Lost a gig.

Another nice guy to hire me for a studio session within next couple weeks. He will call tomorrow.

Had a boring gig.

Was told that I smelled good.

Was told by a reasonably good looking 26 year old that I have a great ass, that I look somewhere between 28 and 35 and that I have the sexiest singing voice that he's ever heard.

Left eye hardly twitching at all.

I guess it all evens out!

SOLD OUT!

2006-09-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Well, for those of you who are wondering.....the show went amazingly well on Saturday night!
We sold out ALL of the tickets....standing room only! I don't know how much $$$$ we raised but I'm sure it was quite a bit! I'm just thrilled that I got to be a part of something so amazingly fun, meet such incredible people and raise money for such a worthwhile cause. They've invited me to do another benefit in October....YAY! Donating my time and my voice is the least I can do since I can't donate monetarily right now . Anyway, thank you all for your good wishes. They really worked. We packed 'em in!

Drop In If You Happen To Be In Town!

2006-09-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

(New edit: Okay. For those of you that were LOUDLY singing "To Be With You" on Loralee's blog last month.....Eric Martin (listed below) is THE guy that wrote and sang that song. Just a little tid-bit for you all.....)

Wine, Women & Song ®presents

The Music of Artists Affected by Breast Cancer

Saturday, September 16

9:00pm

The Sweetwater Saloon, Mill Valley, CA

Melissa Etheridge ~ Sheryl Crow ~ Dusty Springfield ~ Nanci Griffith ~ Kylie Minogue

Olivia Newton-John ~ Carly Simon ~ Beth Nielsen Chapman ~ Doris Coley (Shirelles) ~

Shirley Horn

Performed in Concert by:

Eric Martin ~ Lorin Rowan ~ Krickie ~ Susan Z ~ Loralee Christensen ~ Greg Lamboy

Victoria George ~ Kat Fitzgerald ~ Dave Vincent ~ Pollyanna Bush ~ Carolyn Gauthier

Amber Morris ~ Elliott Randall ~ Chaz Simonds ~Annalisa Bastiani ~ Eileen Grady

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tickets $15

www.ticketweb.com or call (415)388-2820

Raffle Prizes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be the first to get a glimpse of our new compilation CD

Wine, Women & Song Volume II "Then & Now"

featuring many of the artists performing at the Sweetwater show9:00 pm

A Small But Huge Favor.....

2006-09-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

....to ask of you my faithful 4 readers....hee! Small child's dad is a very, very talented musician. He has just recently entered an on-line competition. The task? To do a re-mix of Peter Gabriel's version of "Shock the Monkey" in your own studio. Small child's dad did a terrific job. It's contemporary sounding, it's subtle, it's crisp and it's cool. If you take a listen to the original mix and then take a listen to small child's dad's version you'll hear all of the wonderful things small child's dad did to his version. There's really an art to being a terrific studio engineer/producer. It's called being tasteful, subtle, simple and not overproducing. Small child's dad has the midas touch when it comes to engineering/producing and I would like for him to be acknowledged for this. Not only is small child's dad an amazing engineer/producer but he is a talented musician playing guitar, bass and piano. And he writes amazing songs as well. Also, small child's dad has been very, very generous with his talent, his time and his recording studio to work on a project for Loralee & Loralee, Thing One & Thing Two, Utah Loralee & California Loralee, Loralee 1 & Loralee 2, Young Loralee & Not So Young Loralee (or however it is that you know us.) This favor is one way that I can help him out in return.

Here is the favor. Please vote for small child's dad's song. Here's how:

(FYI: I am TRYING to get people to vote BEFORE this Sunday (September 10) to get small child's dad (Naren is his name) into the Top Twenty countdown on Sunday! Plus, it would be a great birthday gift for him as Sunday is his birthday! If you aren't able to vote before Sunday you can still cast a vote until September 30th. Oh yeah, you can only vote once.)

Please click on the link below. It will take you to small child's dad's song.

http://www.realworldremixed.com/remix.php?remix_id=r7767iVArff9ZrM.

Please sign up. (You know the drill, name, password, some sort of anonymous moniker.)

Please listen to Naren's (small child's dad) re-mix.

Please VOTE IF YOU LIKE IT. (3 stars or more.....anything below that is not helpful.)

Please DO NOT vote if you don't like it.

Please leave a comment. (Not required but if you'd like to and it's a GOOD comment that would be great!)

I will also have the link on my blog roll until September 30th if you'd like to send anybody else his way. Thanks everyone! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for small child's dad and I'll keep you posted as to the results.......

Healthcare in America......

2006-09-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

.....SUCKS! I have a hole the size of Vesuvius in one of my molars. I think a filling fell out. Can I go to the dentist and have it fixed? No. No I can't do that. I can't afford that. Also, I don't have insurance anymore. Can I actually just go to the dentist and have it looked at? Nope. Still a cash flow problem there. Okay. Alright. How about this. Can I just go and sit in the dentist's waiting room and think about having it looked at? No? I'd be a nuisance? Alright. Alright. Can I drive by the dentist's office and wave at the building while thinking about having it looked at? No? Okay, alright, okay. How about if I just say the word "dentist" three times and click my heels together and uh.....Not gonna work, huh?? Okay.....can I....oh NEVERMIND! It's just so damned frustrating! And remember the brilliant idea that the Bush administration had? You know the one where they said that they thought that everybody should have a health care savings?? You know. Put a little away each month for health care. Ummmmmm. Errrrrrrr. Uhhhhhhh.....
If I had any money to start any sort of a health care savings don't you think that I could just afford the health care insurance????????????

Do I Detect a Limp?

2006-09-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I limp. Not all of the time but most of the time I limp. I hurt almost all of the time. I've been managing pain since I was 17 years old. There are days like today when it is extremely hard to get out of bed. I have to give myself motivational talks just to get out of the bed and into the bathroom to go pee. Which I've been holding for some length of time. Cause I don't want to get out of the bed. Cause I don't want to walk. Cause I hurt.

I only spent about 3 or 4 hours on my feet yesterday but I find that when I spend that much time on my feet I suffer for it. My feet are completely stiff and ache like the devil. Why you ask? (Even if you aren't asking you should know by now that I am going to tell you.) Okay. Here goes. A little piece of my history. When I was 17 years old I was decorating for some stupid High School dance that I wasn't even planning on attending. One of my best friends was homecoming queen and head cheerleader and blah, blah, blah and she talked me into assisting her in decorating for this dance. Long story short: The teacher supervising us decided to run some errands. There was construction going on at the High School at the time. There was a big scaffolding in the room where the dance was being held. We decided to use it to hang streamers. It fell over with 2 of us on it. Yeah. We fell. We fell about 25 feet onto a solid cement floor. She landed on her back. Hairline fracture on one of her vertebrae. I landed on my heels. My heels took the whole impact of the fall and they shattered. Just my 2 little heels taking the whole impact of one teenage body. Was in the hospital for a week. Had surgery (thankfully, no pins!) and was in casts and a wheel chair for quite some time. There. There's the sordid little tale. Yes, there was a lawsuit. No, we did not make a lot of money. But I am reminded every single day of this little incident because I have to manage pain. Not only do you hurt but it is mentally fatiguing as well. The degree of mental fatigue coincides with the degree of physical pain.

I cannot believe that I worked for 2 years in a retail store a few years ago. Seriously. How did I do it? I stood on my feet for a full 8 hour day. Constantly. No sitting. I do remember there were times where I'd be saying to myself, "Okay, Loralee. You can do it. 3 more hours to go," while shifting from one foot to other. Then sometimes afterwards I would go off to a 4 hour gig and stand some more! The thought of that right now makes me cringe. I mean, look at me today. Whining cause I stood for 3 whole hours yesterday but I guess it's all relative, huh?

You know what's funny about all of this? You would think that after all these years I would be used to people looking at me funny when I'm having one of my "limpy" days but for the most part people are pretty cool. They'll even ask me, "What's wrong?" or "What happened?" and we'll have a nice little chat. It's all right. Here's the funny part. Young people will not stare at you if you're limping across the college campus however they WILL look away uncomfortably or will look at you pityingly if you have a roly poly little suitcase for your books at college. Seriously.

English 1A! YAY!

2006-08-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

This is a true story. I will not change my name to protect the innocent because this is a good story. It has been a great day. And it all started even before I had my coffee! I ran into my English teacher in the parking lot this morning. We chit-chatted a bit. As we were walking to the campus he said, and I quote, "I really enjoyed your reading log. I can tell that you're engaged in the story." Then I said, "Yay!"....gee....how intellectual of me. Then, of course, I went to the student cafe and got my big, giant, huge mocha. Got myself settled in class. He then proceeded to read three student reading logs out loud stating that they were very good examples of what he expected from the reading logs. Well. I know, I know. You already know. But. I'm going to say it anyway.....to my astonishment THE FIRST ONE THAT HE READ WAS MINE! Can I tell you how encouraging this is for me?? Can I? Okay. I will. This is just so encouraging for me! I mean, after not being in class for 25 years....well....it makes me feel that maybe....just MAYBE I'll be able to acheive those A's that I'm dreaming of! It may well be a reality!

Of course, I have found a way to trivialize this little victory. I was telling small child's dad that I am the oldest person in my class. I think that the average age range is 18 to 22.... so I feel it's sort of akin to the Seinfeld episode when Kramer is kicking butt in his karate class....he's so proud....he can whip all of the other students butts. Then we find out that all of the other students in his karate class are 9 and 10! It's hilarious. Ahhhh! To hell with trivializing my small acheivement. I'm proud and I'm happy and I'm encouraged right now! I'm just going to let myself have this today! I ROCK!

A Post About My Friend Loralee.....With Love, Loralee

2006-08-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

It appears that one of my dear friends is having to quote: "a sucky suck of a day". I don't know what has happened but I do know that she has been hurt. Someone has hurt this little sparkling jewel of a friend. Hurt her to the point of making her physically ill. This post is to remind her of the sparkling jewel that she is. This post is to let her know that all of the people that you dub "friend" do not hide things, lie and betray you. This post is to let her know that her true friends....yes....even the internet ones....love the wonderful, wacky, sparkly, looney, flawed, human, funny, sexy, intelligent and beautiful woman that she is. And this post is to remind her that we will try to never hurt her. And if we do it won't be with horribe things like lies and betrayals. It will be with human mistakes that we will be sorry for. This post is for her. So that when she does her trolling tonight there will be something lovely and beautiful for her to read about herself so that she may go to sleep with a little bit of a smile in her heart. This post is from one of her friends......

AACCKKKK!

2006-08-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough week. I feel so overwhelmed. There is going to be A LOT of homework. I've been wondering what in the hell I've gotten myself into but I had something really cool happen in one of my classes last week. I had to do a writing sample in English. Teacher said that a lot of people get mis-placed in the class because the placement test is multiple choice and they luck out with their answers. I was nervous but I got my paper back. It said that I was capable of passing the class. The REALLY great thing is.....Teacher wrote "very good" on my paper. That was all the sign I needed that I CAN do this. Sorry I haven't written but there has been HELLA reading and HELLA writing. Then to top it all off I had FOUR gigs this week end, I also had two of small child's soccer games to attend and a paper for psychology to write all on minimal hours of sleep. WOOOOO! HOOOO! Yikes! I'm going to bed here in a minute but I just wanted to let you all know....especially Loralee (Thing One) that I am indeed alive and well.....actually alive and very, very TIRED!

WHEW!

2006-08-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

So. Three classes missed on Monday. Same three classes attended today. Whew!
All's well that ends well.

Dumb (Yesterday) & Dumber (Today)

2006-08-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have the brain of an inept 46 year old woman.....oh....wait a minute.....I do.
First yesterday's mishap. Now this....Oh....you don't know? Oh, well. Let me tell you what I just did. I've been here at my computer up-dating the small child's soccer game schedule, sending my e-mails to the soccer parents....."laminate tags or embroidery on the bag?" (this is because one of the soccer parents complained adamantly about them having NO embroidery on them for the love of God! And I'm in charge of the uniforms for the team this year so I'm responsible for the "embroidery or laminate" dilemma).....then I waded through some papers for school....and checked my calendar for gigs that might conflict with soccer games. Oh. Yes. Did I mention that BEFORE I started doing all of these little things.....did I just happen to mention that I turned the water on in the kitchen sink to soak some dishes?? Yes. The water. On. Full force. Yeah. All the way up. Uh huh, Uh-huh! While I was doing all of my little things at the computer the water was running. Yes. Yes. Right. The water was on. The whole time.

S-I-G-H! Oh well.....the kitchen floor needed a good cleaning anyway......

Please Sign Me Up For "Unaware 101" Or "Dingy 1B"

2006-08-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

So. Today I get up. A relaxing sort of morning. Have a nice little IM session with Alex. Go visit the neighbors. Come back home. Hmmmmm. "I think I'll check my e-mail." says I. What is that? Who is this e-mail from?? I better open it..... "Loralee we missed you in class today. Are you planning on being there on Wednesday?"

WHAT?........WHAT? (I blink. I rub my eyes.) I look again and again I hear myself saying.....WHAT? Of course, I'll be there on Wednesday because that is when school starts! I saw signs at the JC that said that school started on August 23rd. I SAW THEM! I KNOW I SAW THEM! (Did I see them? Did I really see them?) BUT IT'S ON MY CALENDAR, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I START SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAY!! (The elementary school across the street starts on Wednesday....so we MUST start on Wednesday.) But, apparently everyone else started school today. Great. Great. That's just great. I missed 3 classes today. THREE! Yeah! I'm not sure if this is any kind of indication of what my semester is going to be like. It's either going to be really crappy (which I choose not to believe) or this is going to be the worst thing that happens all semester (which is what I choose to believe...I hope I'm right...please let me be right!)

Way to start your new school adventure, Loralee! SIGH! I thought that I was sooooo on it.....sooooo organized! I had my "Hello, Kitty" folder & lunchbox. My pencils were sharpened. I bought new erasers. I was ready. I was ahead of the game! I was so excited. You all know. You read my "I'm so excited to go to school" post. I called all three of the teachers today. I left messages. "Yes," I said, "Yes. I AM in your class. PLEASE don't drop me! PLEASE don't drop me." Really. Not after all of the time and preparation that I've put in.

I took an unmotivated walk over to the small child's Dad's house next door. I told him the whole sordid story. I was THIS CLOSE to crying. Small child's Dad assured me that I would not be dropped. He assured me that everything will be okay and to not be too hard on myself. He assured me that I really haven't missed anything. Small child's Dad is a college graduate so I'm going to believe him. I will believe him. I DO believe him. He's been to college.... he knows.

So. Officially, everyone else started school today. I will start tomorrow. Yes. For sure. I KNOW this now. Uh-huh....tomorrow. Loralee starts school tomorrow. SIGH!

Out Of the Mouths Of Babes.....

2006-08-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

So. We all know that the small child's Dad and I are not "together" as a unit. But we must be co-parenting well together. We must be doing something right because yesterday the small child got into the car and said, "Mom, you and Dad are a nice couple." I said, "We're a nice couple, huh?" And he said, "Yeah. I like the pair of you."

Let's Hear It For the Push-Up Bra!

2006-08-19T03:20:00.000-07:00

Come on! Let's hear it for the good 'ol push up bra! Every woman needs to own a good push up bra. Doesn't matter how old you are. Doesn't matter how big or small you are. A good push-up bra does all of the work, you wear a nice little low cut number flaunting your decolletage and you get all of the kudos....You come home from dinner or dancing or....or...a GIG for that matter feeling like Sophia Loren....or Pamela Anderson...or just the lovely and sexy woman that YOU are.....And not only do you feel like the lovely and sexy woman that you are....apparently some of the young men.....and older men....and middle aged men....notice the lovely and sexy woman that you are. Just cause you wore that push up bra. Just cause you looked sexy. Just cause you FELT sexy. So....come on....let's hear it for the good 'ol push up bra!!!

Links! Links! I Have Links....and I'm Not Talking About Sausages or Chimps!

2006-08-16T23:32:00.000-07:00

Yes. Yes. It is true. The gossip....the rumors that are flying....."Does she really?" "Is it true?"
"Did you hear?" "You're not joking? It really is true?" Yes. Yes. And again.....Yes. I have my links up. I could not have done it without small child's Dad. He rocks! Many kudos and thank you's to small child's Dad. Also, many thank you's to Alex for lighting the "fire under my ass" to get it done and for waiting on stand by "just in case." So....with my blessings....I say...LINK AWAY ONE AND ALL!

TV Or No TV....That Is Tonight's Question

2006-08-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

Well. After reading Erin's blog and reading Mighty Mouse's comments on Erin's blog I have a blog topic for tonight.
It appears that a lot of you are upset about Erin not having a TV when she goes to Baltimore.
Well.....get this.....I haven't had TV (not the actual set) in my home for about 7 years.....okay.....
I'll wait for those of you that need to get up off of the floor. La, di, da, di, da, dum, dum....okay....
are you back?? Yeah. No Cable. No Dish. No Reception. No, no, no.....none. We do watch DVDs and old videos....yes....I said videos.....what of it?? Here's something shocking as well. The small child's Dad has the same set-up at his house.....gasp! Yeah. I'll wait again.......are you back up....off of the floor?? Let me explain, let me explain. I used to be a big TV head. Back in the days of "Friends" "E.R" "Law & Order" I even taped my shows....yes....the damned VCR again....I'm old....what can I say?? When small child's dad and I split up and I moved out it just became an affordibility thing. It's expensive, man! And it's gotten even more expensive through the years! As small child got older we noticed that it was really, really serving him not having television in either home....so....now we have "no TV" by choice and the beauty of it is.....small child could CARE LESS about TV. He's not materialistic. He still sees Sponge Bob when he has the urge. You turn on the TV at his Nana and Grand Dad's or at Gramma's and he watches for about 2 minutes then he runs off outside to play. It's really great. Me. I miss it sometimes but I get a fix when I visit my mom....or my aunt. And to tell you the truth they each have about 6,465 channels and I find that there's nothing on. Oh. And now I read more than ever. I cannot tell you how much I LOVE to read so there is compensation for no screen time. And the small child reads more than other kids....so that's good too. So. If I don't post on a blog that's talking about some fabulous show that's on....you'll know why....it's cause I don't know what in the hell you all are talking about......

To Quote Erin....WOOOOOOO! Mwaaha!

2006-08-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

Okay. It's 12:17am (California time.) I just got home from mixing two songs. So. The day ended not so badly. It started out for SHIT! And from trolling all of your blogs it seems the same for a lot of you. What was it about this day? I was having such major depression. Woke up with a headache. Wanted to cry about everything. My electric window, on the driver's side in my car, broke. I wanted to cry. Went to run errands today. Wanted to smack people. Wanted to cry some more. Went to small child's soccer practice and.....and....I was so grumpy that I almost qualified for "soccer mom" status. GASP!
Then....I went into the city....(San Francisco for those of you who don't know).....and I got to hang out with one of my all time favorite people. We mixed two songs, that we are submitting for an indie album. They turned out really, really great. We drank wine. We laughed. What a fabulous night! And now I feel just like Erin's quote (see post title) right now. I think the only thing that could've topped the entire evening off was to have martini's on Martini Monday with Erin, Loralee, Alex, Sharon, MM, my best friend Melisa (pronounced Me - Leesa) and my beautiful and darling Melisa (pronounced Melissa.) All the stars would've been aligned just perfectly, and, even if they weren't we wouldn't have noticed cause we would've all been three sheets to the wind! Or as Erin would say......WOOOOOOOO! Mwaaha!

Blog Roll Thingy

2006-08-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

First off.....I need to clarify that I AM the world's biggest, hugest and largest computer illiterate.
You can tell this by my pre-fab template. I just wanted to let you know that I am working on getting a blog roll going (Thanks, Alex, for putting the fire under my ass!) and getting you all up there. What is it....all 5 of you?? I really, really enjoy your visits and am so appreciative of them.....as you are all so well established in the blog world. All your templates are so beautiful and sophisticated and then there's.....well.....me. I am hoping to learn as I go and become one of you fairly soon. Hang in there with me, okay? I'm just starting to get a feel for this whole thing so hopefully I'll come along fairly soon......

Where's My Prozac?

2006-08-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

ARGH! I'm soooo impatient today and it's not even noon! I find, now that I'm off of my Prozac, that I'm a little angrier and a little more impatient. It's A LOT of work to be off of my Prozac.
I have to be conscious ALL of the time. Of every thought!
I suppose to be the best possible person that I can be I should to be conscious all the time anyway. There's always a little voice inside that has to rein me in saying things like, "Okay, Loralee, calm down." "Loralee take the higher road." "Why are you so mad, Loralee?" "Okay, Loralee, what do we need to do now?" (Wow. Just reading this makes me tired.) Like I said before it's A LOT of work!
And you can't really explain depression to people who don't suffer it. You can't explain the anxiety, the lows, the self deprecation, the being "so over whelmed" feelings, the "what's wrong with me?" thoughts that you have. (I have tried to explain myself to my Mom, and God bless her, she tries to understand but she can't relate at all as she is not depressed. Neither is my brother. My Dad was.) And it's not like those things are going on inside of you 24/7. I have a wonderful life and I'm very content. I am, indeed, very blessed.
It's just something that you have to deal with.

I have people say to me all of the time, "Wow! You sure don't seem like you're a depressed person!" I understand where they're coming from because I laugh A LOT! I'm bubbly, I'm funny and I have fun. (Did you know that a huge percentage of comedians are clinically depressed? Humor is a great way to mask things.) Also, I'm a communicator and I have a good time wherever I go. I guess this is why people don't understand it. It seems like such a contradiction. And, of course, there are varying degrees of depression. I'm pretty sure mine is a mild degree.

Anyway, this post took an entirely different direction than I intended. Guess I needed to vent, huh? I don't feel so impatient anymore. Not quite as angry. Sigh. Thank you all for listening...

Soccer & Moms

2006-08-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

I am so not a soccer mom. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so not. NOT. I'm just not.
I love taking the small child to soccer practice. I love watching him play. I love
that he loves it......but I stay in the car. (These next few statements exclude Ruth, Tony, Kim, Rich, Eric, Debbie and the other soccer parents on small child's team. Very cool people.) I watch all the other soccer moms mingle. I watch all the other soccer dads mingle. I watch them all chat to each other about each other behind each other's backs. I watch them chat about each other's children behind each others backs. UGH! I just don't get it. So, again, I must reiterate.....I AM SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO NOT a soccer mom.

Off To School With Ya!

2006-08-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

Okay. I am SOOOOOOO excited. I'm going back to community college this fall! Working towards getting my Associates degree. What's really terrific is that it is one of the top community colleges in California. And believe me you (I've always wanted to say that) we have a lot of community colleges in California! I feel so blessed to live within close proximity to this particular college.

Anyway, today the small child and I spent the afternoon on campus taking care of some things. I felt soooo student like. (I just had to pretend that the small child was a teeny, tiny co-ed strolling along with me....it was hard at moments....like for instance, when he was singing the "Star Wars" game boy theme at the top of his lungs or when he was jumping around like a monkey and repeating the phrase, "I'm hungry!" every 5 seconds or, for that matter, when he was interuppting me and the counselor....yeah....we're still working on the interuppting thing I say ashamedly....to alert the counselor that he was getting a hair cut today and to ask her if she thought that he looked like a twelve year old instead of a nine year old.....although.....I have a feeling that I've just described some "real life" co-eds....just replace the "twelve year old & nine year old" part with "twenty one year old & nineteen year old"!)

Okay, so first, we met up with my re-entry counselor. She was so amazing. A very special woman and I glad that I got to meet her today. She touched my heart with some amazing, spiritual "life" experiences that she's had! After we chatted we got down to school biz. Added a class (Child Development) and dropped a class (History of Jazz). So.....this semester I'm taking:

Psychology 1A
History of the United States
English 1A
Child Development

Ooooooooh! Do I not sound like a scholarly scholar??

Next, we were off to the Financial Aid office. My tuition will be paid for this semester because I am sooooo poverty level broke......so cool! (Ahem! Not the poverty level broke part.)

When we were finished there, the teeny tiny co-ed and I mosied over to the scholarship office.
Grabbed a bunch of fliers, pamphlets and catalogues containing information on how "you too can have many, many scholarships and grants."

Then it was off to the Career Center to purchase some tests to help me figure out "what I want to be when I grow up." I took a Career Counseling class last week-end (got 1 unit & an A+...YAY!) to help me hone in on a major. Of course, my test scores in the class were off the charts for anything artistic and creative (i.e. singer, actress, writer, comedian, cartoonist.....DUH!) so I had to look at what came up next on some of the tests for me. Not suprisingly, they were pretty much all altruistic careers (i.e......isn't this little "i.e." thingy handy? ....Anyway.....i.e. any type of therapist, counselor, teacher, psychologist, and, I had to save the best for last cause Thing One is gonna flip at this one.....SPEECH PATHOLOGIST!)

I'm leaning majorly (ha! Get it? ha! "majorly?"...."majorly?"....MAJOR...and Thing One thinks she's the bigger dork!) towards family counseling and a little towards teaching small children. I was very interested in Speech Pathology but I found out today that I would have to take classes all the way in Sacra-tomato. Too far. (You would think that Sonoma State or San Francisco State would offer courses.....would you not?? I mean.....the Bay Area being the bustling metropolis that it is?) As far as counseling and/or teaching goes....well...I'm just gonna have to spend some time researching and doing some interviewing of folks in these occupations. Stay tuned and see how it all unfolds!

Well.....that was my day....so exciting.....a new path....new people.....new ideas....knowledge. Wow! I can't wait..... Oh yeah! And my son did get a hair cut!

Some Parental Advice

2006-08-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

Words to live by: When you are livid with your child.....when you are seeing red....and you think that you'll explode....do not.....I repeat....DO NOT use the word "shennanigans." (i.e. "I've had it with your "shennanigans!") They WILL laugh. They WILL repeat the word and they WILL laugh again. For example:

(True re-enactment):

Grown Up: I have had it with your "shennanigans!

Small Child: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Shennanigans! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

"Uh-Uh" doesn't work either. For example:

(Another true re-enactment):

Grown Up: Stop fooling around! If you break that.... it's gonna be uh-uh!

Small Child: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You said, "uh-uh", Mom! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

These are just small little words of advice to all parents. They are designed to save you the complete parental humiliation that I have encountered.

True Conversations With the Small Inhabitant of My Home

2006-08-08T13:12:00.000-07:00

(Warning: For those of you thinking about or just about to add a small child to your household.... This is a true story. Terrifying but true. This will be you in a few years and there is nothing you can do about it. Really. I am so serious. Let it be known to all that I've warned you!)

These conversations take place in my home.....at the very least....842 times a day. He is only nine and the fun is just beginning. I tell myself to get used to it. Doesn't really help....sigh!

Grown Up: Small child, go and brush your hair.

Small Child: I don't want to brush my hair.

Grown Up: Not wanting to brush it is not an option. Go and brush your hair.

Small Child: But I like my hair this way.

Grown Up: Go and brush your hair, small child.

Small Child: Mom, I REALLY don't want to brush it. It looks good like this.

Grown Up: It does NOT look good like that. You look like a vagabond child. Go and brush it.

Small Child: Why?

Grown Up: Alright. We will stay home. We will not go to Andrew's birthday party. I will have to tell Andrew that not brushing your hair was more important to you than going to his party.....

Small Child: Oh alright.....I'll go brush it.

Sigh! Do we see the makings of an attorney here?

So exhausting. But at least this argument was only about hair. I can't wait for the teen year arguments.......

Money & Bills

2006-08-08T10:07:00.001-07:00

Money!
Bills!
MONEY!
BILLS & MORE BILLS!
money!
BILLS! BILLS! BILLS!
money??
BILLS! LOTS OF BILLS!
money....please??
Ah-ha,ha,ha,ha,ha! B-I-L-L-S! BILLS!
money?.......SIGH!

I Felt the Need to Post

2006-08-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

Okay. It is late. I don't have much to say. But it's a new blog. I felt that I should post something. So. Here I am. Not much to say really. Just wanted to show you that I am committed to doing this. (Or should I be committed for doing this?? I don't know. It's late.
I can't make a decision right now.) I....I...I just didn't want to be like that person who says, "So, I'll call you." And then they don't. And then you get all depressed and eat that half gallon of Ben & Jerrys or drink that pint of vanilla vodka . I really felt that I owed you..... yes....you....all two of my readers a little something more. A little something to say, "I'm here for you and I will call....well....er... in this case.....post." A little something to let all two of you know that you mean something to me. This is NOT a superficial relationship. You mean so much more to me than that. So. Here it is. A post. God. I feel so drained right now. Why am I always the one doing the work in this relationship?? Huh?? I just feel like you take, take, take.....while I just give, give, give myself away to you. What more do you want from me? I have nothing left to give. I think we should seriously discuss counseling.......

The Lord and the Flies

2006-08-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

A fly woke me up this morning. At an unnecessary hour. Which in turn got me to thinking...."Why did God create flies?" (or for that matter ticks, mosquitoes, fleas, "insert your annoying creature here.") Was he grumpy that day? When he was in "creation mode" was he on auto pilot? Was he the over whelmed parent that day? I DO NOT get it. I've heard that flies pollinate onions. Is this it? Is this why? If you like onions I suppose that is a redeeming quality but really....is this it?? Is this what they do besides being filthy and annoying us and waking us at unnecessary hours because they happened to sneak into your home?

Another thing I was pondering this A.M. (as I was lying in bed after the fly woke me) is why does a 46 year old woman still have to contend with facial blemishes?? Especially around her nose?? Come on, I'm handling the gray hair, the wrinkles, the effects of gravity on my once supple face and body....but zits? And why around my nose?

After reading this post I have decided that I have tooooo much time on my hands. And today, I have a few hours extra thanks to the fly......sigh!

2006-08-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

Okay. Miss Choate (and by all means, the rest of you) have inspired me to do this. I'm terrified! It's so much fun to make comments on other people's blogs....let's see how much fun
this is.....